In a recent Wall Street Journal article, “The Sizzling Snooze of Golf Star Scottie Scheffler,” written by one of my favorite columnists, Jason Gay, Scheffler made a very interesting comment. He said, “Legacy is a complicated thing.” He may be right, but why is it complicated?
In my view, everyone leaves a legacy, whether intentionally or unintentionally. A legacy takes a lifetime to build and can end up being one that inspires future generations, or one that people will try to forget. Since legacies depend on human experiences, decisions, and relationships, the possibilities are endless. But everyone leaves a legacy.
To contemplate your own legacy is to live life in reverse. What do you want people that know you well to say at your funeral? I’ve always hoped that there would be some way to listen in, assuming I would be pleased with what was said. Since I like to write, perhaps I should write my own eulogy, so whoever delivers it says the right things…
For me there is a spiritual component to a legacy. Since thinking about a legacy usually occurs in the latter stages of life, this question comes to mind – What does it mean to lose control, but gain a sense of peace? This might be the complicated part Scheffler was talking about.
I’ve had the honor of giving a eulogy a few times for special people in my life. The people behind the words I shared still inspire me today. In a world where so many prominent people are uninspiring, perhaps we can recall a few special legacies made by extraordinary people we were blessed to have known in our lives.
Here’s one I gave a few years back for my father-in-law, Joseph D. Patella…
Tribute to Joe Patella
December 20, 2014
The first day I met my future father-in-law was at Mary Lynn’s college graduation. We drove from the Thruway exit over to RIT (Rochester Institute of Technology). I don’t believe I said two words on the ride over.
A few years later, when I finally got the nerve to ask Joe for his daughter’s hand, he said, “You don’t talk much, which makes you a hard guy to get to know.” At the time I didn’t have the nerve to say, that with the whole gang together, it was hard to get a word in edge wise…
It was easy to figure out how much my wife looked up to her dad, and how much she was like him. And if there ever was a man to look up to, to want to be like, then that man was Joe Patella. He was devoted to his family, and to his country.
We all know Joe served with distinction in the War. At age 21 he was a B-17 pilot and flew 35 bombing missions over Germany and German-occupied Europe. He received the Distinguished Flying Cross and the Air Medal. During the war, the 8th Air Force suffered about 40% loss rate. So how does a pilot live through 35 missions when 4 out of 10 planes don’t return from every mission? Luck, perhaps? More likely it was due to the skill, nerves, and self-confidence Joe had even at that young age.
For his generation, the War shaped the rest of their lives. It made them thankful for what this great country represents. It taught them to be frugal, resourceful – was there anything Joe couldn’t do? I think not. The war taught them a work ethic unmatched in history, as they became what Tom Brokaw called the Greatest Generation.
I’ve had the opportunity over the years to talk to Joe, and other veterans about the war, like his brother Carmen, who landed on Omaha Beach on D-Day, as a member of the 16th Regiment of the 1st Division. You know, the only people who don’t think they are heroes are the heroes themselves.
Joe wasn’t perfect. He rooted for the wrong baseball team for years (the Yankees), like his oldest son-in-law. He voted for some of the wrong political candidates, despite the wise counsel of his youngest-son-in-law (me)… And he never could teach me how to shoot a rifle, and I want to thank his son Joey for never telling him about the time I shot the rain gutter off the corner of the house…
You always knew where Joe stood on just about any issue. He was well-read, inquisitive, and was never afraid to learn new things. All wonderful character traits.
Toward the end of the Gettysburg Address, Abraham Lincoln said these words:
“The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced.”
We honor Joe today by remembering the man he was and the life he lived. And perhaps we can be so dedicated to preserving his legacy, by taking care of our families and each other. And, like Joe did so often, by nobly standing up for what is right.
All of us are impacted by the people we meet, and we are blessed to have someone special to raise us, mentor us, someone special to teach us, to set an example. Someone special to laugh with and cry with. To love and be loved by. For many of us here that person was Joe Patella.
God Bless you, Joe. And God Bless his family.
Stay tuned to my next newsletter.
Michael Kayes
*These views are my personal opinions and are not the viewpoints of any company or organization.