28th Edition

October 17th, 2023 

Our True Identity

What gives you your identity? I’ve been thinking about that question a lot lately. When I first meet someone, I always ask where they are from.  Where you grew up can be a big part of your identity.  I then like to ask people who their hero was when they were a kid.  Our early role models can lay the groundwork for our identity as adults.

For a lot of people, especially men, their identity is synonymous with their occupation – I’m a lawyer, or I’m a doctor, or I’m a race car driver…   I was in the same profession for nearly 40 years, but it never quite captured my true identity. Perhaps because I haven’t figured that out yet.  Like I said, I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.

So, what is our true identity?  Are we all entirely unique or are there common threads we all share?  Let’s start with the first one, our uniqueness.  Oh how I can relate to this one.  I’ve always been a bit odd, never seem to fit in, especially with the popular crowd.  Sometimes I actually enjoy being different, other times, not so much.  Going against the crowd, in the pursuit of truth or justice, forges one’s character.  There are benefits to being a follower as well.  Giving up the limelight, sacrificing self-interests to benefit others, creates a sense of humility in us, which can become a cornerstone of both healthy relationships and our own personal identity.  In many ways, life is a journey to discover which path to take in response to challenges and opportunities.

Common threads…  This one is a bit more complicated.  Although I usually try to refrain from making generalizations, I think a few are appropriate, and are true for the vast majority.  What is worse than generalizing is denying they exist because they don’t hold true for a very small minority.  With those guidelines, there are three essential truths that define our common identity.

One, we were all created to live in community with others.  What we do impacts others and what others do impacts us.  Given this, there cannot be any serious conversation about rights without including related responsibilities.  This applies to every sensitive issue.

Two, we are all called by God to love Him with all our heart, mind and soul, and to love others as we love ourselves.  Community just doesn’t work well without these two commitments.

Three, we all have free will.  This does not mean all decisions are easy, some may actually seem like we have no alternative at all, but in the vast majority of instances, we have different options.  And all choices have consequences, intended and unintended.

So, what does all this mean?…  In my view it means that appreciating our common identity is significantly more important than celebrating our uniqueness. The two are not mutually exclusive, but today we seem much more focused on the latter.  Worse over, we all too often seem to reject the three truths which constitute our common identity.  We demand our rights, while avoiding related responsibilities.  We allow the shortcomings and hypocrisy of religious individuals and institutions to justify rejecting God altogether.  We deny our free will, blame others, and allow apathy to replace hopefulness.

Strangely, it may be through our uniqueness that we rediscover our common thread.  Sadly, a person today who professes these three essential truths of our common identity would likely face severe criticism.  He or she would have to be courageous and prepared to withstand vicious personal attacks, as politeness and grace are no longer commonplace in our country.

But should this unique individual stand tall, even alone, others will be inspired. One small sacrifice, one act of unconditional love, or one wise, selfless decision could turn the tide and inspire the rest of us.  Oh, to see that day.  And hopefully soon.

Please help me grow my readership by forwarding this to a friend(s). In the meantime, say tuned for my next newsletter. Thanks

Michael Kayes 

*These views are my personal opinions and are not the viewpoints of any company or organization.

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