91st Edition
Lesson 7 – Expect more than they can accomplish then love them when they fall short
One year I was coaching a U9 team, made up primarily of a few neighborhood kids. In no way were we an all-star or elite travel team that are ubiquitous today. Two games from that season were memorable and reinforced our character development philosophy. We played one game against the Salisbury Kings, the defending U8 national champions. They were amazing. Their shortest player was taller than our tallest, and they were incredibly athletic. We had absolutely no chance. This was my pregame speech…
“I want bounce passes only and ball fakes before each pass. Be strong with the ball and run the plays every time down the court. Be aggressive and play as hard as you can.”
Our team went out on the court and played a wonderful, spirit-filled first half. We had only 3 or 4 turnovers, made some nice bounce passes and protected the ball well. Overall, I couldn’t have been more pleased with their effort, courage and discipline. At the half we were down 44 – 2.
Despite the score, I told the kids how proud of them I was. How well they competed and that I expected them to fight on each possession for the entire second half. Which they did.
After the game we went to a local Chick fil A which was incredibly crowded. We all got our food and grabbed the only remaining table at which to eat. Just before I sat down I noticed an elderly couple holding their trays, an exasperated look on their faces. The man had one of those Navy veteran hats on, black with gold lettering. Another great opportunity for a life lesson. I walked over to the couple and said, “I have a table for you right over here.” I told the kids to get up and let the elderly couple sit down. We then went into the parking lot and had an impromptu tailgate lunch. The kids had a blast. We talked about honoring veterans and looking out for elderly people wherever we go. It was a great day.
Why do some kids rise to the challenge against seemingly insurmountable odds while others are mentally defeated before the game even begins? Nothing worthwhile can be accomplished if you can’t envision doing it before you even try.
Parents, once again, are often the culprits. Some are so fearful of seeing their kid fail, or even be uncomfortable. Over-protective parents rob kids of opportunities to develop character. Beyond that, no failure is final unless you give up. Even when facing the giants, like the Salisbury Kings, competing with all you got, teaches you that the outcome isn’t the most important measurement. Learning courage, discipline and teamwork are far more important in the long run. Then, when you face another challenging situation perhaps a bit less daunting than the Salisbury Kings, you know that you have a chance to win. Iron sharpens iron, as the bible tells us.
Lesson 8 – With great talent comes great responsibility
It was obvious to everyone that Luke was an outstanding athlete with unlimited potential as a basketball player. He was a head taller than every player his age, was self-confident, and had remarkable skills. He was 12 years old. His dad was a college athlete, and I knew he could see the potential in his oldest son. I also knew his dad understood what needed to be addressed. Since Luke was so much better than everyone else, he had a tendency to get lazy. He wasn’t being challenged. So, I had an idea and shared it with his dad.
“Luke has a world of talent, but no one is pushing him. We can let him continue as is, not really trying very hard, but I don’t think that is the best for him as a person or as a player,” I said.
“I agree, he’s lazy,” his dad said.
“So, how about if I guard him in the scrimmages and push him a little bit?” I said.
“Kick his butt,” his dad said. Which is basically what I did to his 12-year-old son. I blocked his shots, pushed him away from rebounds, and blew by him to score repeated lay-ups. I gave no quarter that day. After practice I went up to Luke and said, let’s talk. I could see that he was a bit shaken.
“Luke, you are the most talented player here by far,” I said. This picked up his spirits a bit. “But because of that, you have to give a greater effort than the other players.” He looked a bit puzzled.
“You have the ability to achieve greatness, but you can’t get there on talent alone. You have to work harder because you are more talented, not work less. Does that make sense?” I said. He nodded his head. He got it.
Fast forward, Luke was a non-scholarship player at a major basketball program. As he focused on making the team and earning a scholarship (which he did), he said to the coach that he could promise one thing –No one would out work him. Luke now wears an NCAA National Championship ring.
With talent comes great responsibility. It might require a dose of tough love, but you have to embrace it.
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Michael Kayes
*These views are my personal opinions and are not the viewpoints of any company or organization.