184th Edition
Wedding reflections
My wife and I have attended several weddings this year. The most in one year in a very long time. We’ve traveled from Charlotte to Seattle, Naples, FL, and to the great state of Ohio. I only have one suit that is appropriate for a formal wedding (according to my wife), so for me at least, packing for wedding weekends is a piece of cake. For some reason, weddings always lead me to moments of introspection. They are certainly meaningful events for several reasons.
First, and most obviously, they involve the most significant commitment two people will ever make. I always wonder while watching and listening to the exchange of marriage vows whether the couple are ready for a lifelong commitment. My sense is all couples think they are, but will this commitment stand the test of time, and the challenges life may bring them?
Marriage is also impacted by, and the expression of, the legacy of two families. Traditions, customs, priorities, and values of two families all come together in the wedding ceremony and shape how the marriage will evolve. The respective roles of husband and wife, the foundation or lack of spirituality, and the reliance upon or independence from family are all components of a marriage to some extent. I imagine a prayer on the hearts of people in attendance is that the new couple will incorporate the best aspects of the legacies of their respective families. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. It takes wisdom, discernment and discipline to bring forth positive legacies and leave behind those that might be harmful to a healthy marriage.
There is always a powerful sense of hopefulness at a wedding. Two people becoming one, helping each other become the best version possible of themselves. Their respective parents looking forward to grandchildren. Everyone involved desiring a long life of health and happiness for the newlyweds. About two years ago, I held my granddaughter for the first time. Immediately I had a vision and a hope that I would live long enough to dance with her at her wedding. I would likely be in my early 90s. I hope I make it, and if I do, I pray that I’ll still be able to dance. Weddings exude reasons to be hopeful.
Thankfulness is another important aspect of a wedding. Gracious support from life-long friends and devoted siblings, loving moms who do so much of the planning, and dads who agree to most things during the planning process and often sign rather large checks. All of which deserve sincere thanks.
Carrying on legacies, being hopeful and thankful, makes weddings one of the most important events in any community. The challenge, perhaps, is to maintain this mindset after the wedding is over. What family legacies should we try to preserve? What traditions and values embodied by our parents and grandparents should we be intentional about continuing in our own life and instilling in the next generation?
In a world continually inundated with reasons to despair, how can we remain hopeful? How can we instill hopefulness in the people we interact with?
How can we approach each day with a renewed sense of gratitude? How can we be more disciplined in remembering those to which we owe thanks?
I can’t go to a wedding every weekend. Remember, I only have one suit. But I would like to be perpetually in a wedding mindset. Remembering the life lessons from my elders, hopeful and thankful for the opportunities and blessings in my life. Marriage certainly is a wonderful institution. Thanks to all who invited us to this year’s weddings. Please keep the invitations coming. I can always buy another suit.
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Michael Kayes
*These views are my personal opinions and are not the viewpoints of any company or organization.