181st Edition
Simple Solutions
The debate is pretty much over regarding cell phones. Instead of being an amazing device that would connect people, it has turned out to do just the opposite. How many times have you watched a couple or family sitting at a restaurant all staring at their phones with zero interaction between them? As a conduit to social media and other harmful Internet sites, cell phones have made many of us insular, disconnected, and lonely. There are studies and articles describing this twenty-first-century-plague seemingly every day.
Thankfully, there are three simple solutions to our current problem of disconnection. First is to bring your dog along wherever you go. There is only one thing that connects people quicker and more congenially than a friendly, pettable dog. (I’ll reveal that one shortly). A friendly dog sends a message that the owner is friendly, too, which is usually true. Stopping to pet a dog invariably produces a smile on the face of the owner. If you can scratch the dog behind his ears, rub his belly, or even better, let him lick your face, you will have made an instant friend with the dog, and shared a momentary, but pleasant connection with a stranger. Repeat the interaction with the same dog a few times and you will make a new, lasting friendship with the owner.
The second is to bring a baby along. It would be inappropriate to get too close, but every mom, dad, or grandparent loves to hear people say that their baby is beautiful. Walking slowly through a crowded street rocking a baby in your arms produces a wave of smiles and compliments between complete strangers.
The third is the simplest of all and can be mastered by just about everyone. Make eye contact and smile. For those nearby who are staring straight ahead or at their phone, stop and greet them in a friendly tone. You might have to do it with extra exuberance if they are wearing ear buds, but it isn’t an insurmountable obstacle to overcome. When you get their attention just smile. Perhaps a conversation will begin.
At this point, you may be wondering if there is a serious point to today’s blog. Well, there is… We can’t continue to plod through life self-absorbed, distrustful, and lonely. Absolutely nothing positive can come from this social malady. It would be ridiculous to think that people will give up their cell phones. But we must find ways to reconnect. Why? Because we can’t be good neighbors if we’ve never met our neighbors. We can’t encourage those who need encouragement if we don’t understand and care about their current struggles.
The problem is much deeper and far reaching than becoming a good neighbor. In a very interesting book I recently finished called – “The Tyranny of Experts: Economists, Dictators, and the Forgotten Rights of the Poor” by William Easterly, the author explains that most solutions, as well as game-changing innovations happen when individuals work together, share discoveries, and build on past experiences. The motivation behind this bottoms-up creative dynamic is that people care about others and work jointly to make things better for all. Trustful relationships are at the heart of this and can only be built by individuals connecting with each other freely and of their own volition. Conversely, the state cannot coerce people to trust one another. It can’t solve our disconnection or loneliness. It can only make it worse. As history has shown repeatedly, distrust thrives under totalitarian regimes. In the long run, to prevent totalitarianism in our country we have to reconnect and build trust. One additional point needs to be made. No matter what the current label is for state control, whether it is called socialism, democratic socialism, communism, or something else like people’s party or worker’s party, the intent is the same – to make the rights of individuals subordinate to the will of the state. Under any label this has been an unmitigated disaster throughout history.
Our country cannot thrive over the long term if we remain isolated and distrustful. Nor can individual freedom long prevail. AI will not solve this problem; it might actually make it worse. Next time you go for a walk, in a familiar or completely new place, stop and pet every dog you come across. If you are blessed enough to have a baby to carry in your arms or push in a stroller, move slowly, sing to him or her softly, and watch people respond. In the absence of dogs or babies, just smile. Greet people friendly and warmly. Stop and talk if you can. Simple solutions, perhaps, but unbelievably powerful over the long run. Our future freedom might just depend upon it.
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Michael Kayes
*These views are my personal opinions and are not the viewpoints of any company or organization.