83rd Edition
Over the next six weeks I am going to share my thoughts on “six things we can do to make America better.” Please send me your thoughts, ideas, and criticisms. We are all on this journey together.
Number One: Reconnect with God
Every person should wake up with the realization and acknowledgement that there is a God, and I’m not him. Man has a tendency to create false gods. Throughout history we have pursued and worshipped false gods like wealth, power, and fame. These are manifested, respectively, by greed, oppression, and self-absorption. Virtually every social ill emanates from the worship of a false god. As C.S. Lewis explains in his book, Mere Christianity, man was made to run on God. We have to put our focus on Him, keep Him at the center of all we do. If we do, the best version of ourselves will emerge. Fortunately for us, God is infinitely creative so we can reconnect to Him in all kinds of ways. Importantly, we don’t have to be religious to be in meaningful and intimate relationship with God, nor do we have to be of any specific religion or denomination. And we certainly do not have to assert the superiority of any particular religion as the only path to intimacy with our creator. God is much bigger than religion.
But don’t think this reordering of our heart is particularly easy. It is far from it. It takes daily surrender of our self-centered will to God’s divine authority. Reconnecting will require grace, forgiveness, and unconditional love. None of which are easy. All relationships are enriched when grace, forgiveness, and unconditional love are common. From stronger relationships comes stronger neighborhoods and stronger communities.
Reconnecting with God is the first step in a grass roots, bottom-up commitment to the great commandment, to love others as we love ourselves.
Moreover, this commitment is the foundation of all truly flourishing societies. Not that this commitment makes everything perfect, or every outcome equal, nor every situation identical. Injustice and inequality will always exist, but when it does it won’t be ignored, nor will individuals focus on who to blame and assume the government will solve it somehow. That isn’t a recipe for broad-based human flourishing, as history has shown repeatedly. Again, God did not design us to exist independent of Him, nor to abdicate our responsibility to conduct ourselves consistent with the great commandment.
Here is a blog I wrote in April 2024 about our connectedness –
Grocery Shopping
There were two interesting front-page articles in one of the daily blogs I receive. The first was – “Man Sets Himself on Fire Outside Trump Trial Courthouse.” The Second was – “What this protein may do to osteoarthritis in seniors.” I deleted the blog without reading either article. Then I thought, maybe the guy from the first article wasn’t aware of the good news in the second article… Despite the daily weirdness and extremism, producing ever-expanding polarization, we remain connected with other people, even when we feel completely disconnected. Let me try to explain…
I’ve had a few people share a rather unsettling thought with me recently. As they begin each day they wonder… Who is going to disappoint me today? Stuck in that mindset, it would be very natural, prudent even, to withdraw from relationships, to become insular and isolated. But we just aren’t made to do that. We were made to live in community, even with people who don’t live up to our expectations, who tend to be disagreeable, or worse. Essentially, we are all stuck with each other. So, what can we do to lower the vitriol, to make communities more joyful and harmonious, and to prevent anyone from thinking that setting themselves on fire is a good idea?
A few ideas… Everyone should commit to calling at least one person each week that they haven’t talked to over the last month. Text or email is permissible, but not encouraged. Face-to-face meetings would be best. Spend time at least once a week in meaningful fellowship with someone outside your regular daily routine. Send a card or a note to someone not on their birthday, but just to offer a kind word of encouragement. Bake cookies and bring them to a neighbor (If you need my address, let me know). Make plans and promises and then keep them, even if it is inconvenient. Concentrate on the common interests and not the opposing views within a relationship. Initiate and reciprocate. Forgive and forget. Offer grace as best you can.
What do you think of that list? Some are easy to do, just takes a bit of self-discipline until it becomes a habit. Other things aren’t so easy. The hard things deepen relationships, so they are worth trying to do.
I fear we have reached the point where technology has become detrimental to building relationships and promoting basic civility. Multiple times a week on my way to the grocery store, I pass someone and say “hello” or “how are you doing,” and I receive no reply, just silence. Then I realized they had earbuds in and didn’t hear a word I said. Leave the earbuds at home when you go the grocery store. Talk to people. Smile at the employee who is helping you through the self-check-out line. Flirt with the elderly lady who makes the sourdough bread (which is what I do). Getting comfortable making small connections will help us make deeper more meaningful connections. Civility is habit forming and it inspires similar behavior in others.
Our addiction to social media and smart phones needs to be challenged. One person, one family at a time and we can gradually unplug from this civility-killing drag on community and true fellowship.
The future of our nation depends on the values and commitments of the people. Any positive change has to come from within each of us, it cannot be compulsive, nor shoved upon the populous by political elites. Goodness, civility, or basic morality cannot be legislated or created in a sustainable way by any branch or agency of the federal government. If we the people lead in these critical areas the government bureaucracy will follow. Once we realize it simply will not happen in reverse, we have a fighting chance for positive change. Perhaps we can discuss all this when we greet each other during out next trip to the grocery store…
America will continue to struggle ethically, morally, emotionally, and spiritually, as each of us will as well, if we place false gods before our Creator.
Now, I know that there are wonderful, loving people who are atheists. I can’t claim to know what is in each of their hearts. Could God be in there working without their realization? If not, does the exception refute my recommendation? I don’t think so, mainly because I don’t think there are a lot of atheists who are also wonderful people. Somewhere around 7% of the world’s population claims to be atheist. How many are wonderful is impossible to say, so the percentage of atheists who are wonderful is small.
I also acknowledge that there are certainly horrible hypocrites who claim to be deeply religious. Probably way more than the small number of wonderful atheists. Even the most reverent among us have moments when they stumble. We have free will and we live in a broken world. Again, that is why daily surrender, grace, forgiveness, and unconditional love are so important. The fact that we fall short shouldn’t be used to argue that being God-centered is unnecessary. All it does is remind us that it isn’t easy.
Excerpt from the wonderful book about the American Combat Airmen in WWII – “Deadly Sky” by John C. McManus – (page 339)
With survival as their highest priority, combat airmen struggled mightily to find ways of achieving that frighteningly elusive goal in a world that dispensed death and imprisonment with seemingly no pattern or justice. Some turned to prayer – a natural American impulse, because religion has historically been ingrained into the fabric of America. Combat airmen prayed not for the destruction of their enemies, or out of righteous affirmation of the goodness of their cause, perhaps not even out of devout religious beliefs but rather for personal survival. They turned to God to control what they themselves could not. As Brown put it, “They would do anything to reach out for security, and if prayer helps, they are willing to try it. Prayer is a desperate attempt to come back alive.”(James Good Brown was the chaplain of the 381st Bomb Group).
For decades we have tried to remove God from the fabric of America. But while organized religion may be in decline, God remains omnipresent. He allows us to back away, even turn away completely. But we inevitably return, particularly when our will or the twists and turns of life create circumstances we can’t control or endure. There is an inner connection to us and God even when we refuse to acknowledge it. It is part of the mystery of our creation.
Here is another blog I wrote in August 2023 –
Our True Identity
What gives you your identity? I’ve been thinking about that question a lot lately. When I first meet someone, I always ask where they are from. Where you grew up can be a big part of your identity. I then like to ask people who their hero was when they were a kid. Our early role models can lay the groundwork for our identity as adults.
For a lot of people, especially men, their identity is synonymous with their occupation – I’m a lawyer, or I’m a doctor, or I’m a race car driver… I was in the same profession for nearly 40 years, but it never quite captured my true identity. Perhaps because I haven’t figured that out yet. Like I said, I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.
So, what is our true identity? Are we all entirely unique or are there common threads we all share? Let’s start with the first one:
Our uniqueness… Oh how I can relate to this one. I’ve always been a bit odd, never seem to fit in, especially with the popular crowd. Sometimes I actually enjoy being different, other times, not so much. Going against the crowd, in the pursuit of truth or justice, forges one’s character. There are benefits to being a follower as well. Giving up the limelight, sacrificing self-interests to benefit others, creates a sense of humility in us, which can become a cornerstone of both healthy relationships and our own personal identity. In many ways, life is a journey to discover which path to take in response to challenges and opportunities.
Common threads… This one is a bit more complicated. Although I usually try to refrain from making generalizations, I think a few are appropriate, and are true for the vast majority. What is worse than generalizing is denying they exist because they don’t hold true for an exceedingly small minority. With those guidelines, there are three essential truths that define our common identity.
One, we were all created to live in community with others. What we do impacts others and what others do impacts us. Given this, there cannot be any serious conversation about rights without including related responsibilities. This applies to every sensitive issue.
Two, we are all called by God to love Him with all our heart, mind and soul, and to love others as we love ourselves. Community just doesn’t work well without these two commitments.
Three, we all have free will. This does not mean all decisions are easy, some may actually seem like we have no alternative at all, but in the vast majority of instances, we have different options. And all choices have consequences, intended and unintended.
So, what does all this mean?… In my view it means that appreciating our common identity is significantly more important than celebrating our uniqueness. The two are not mutually exclusive, but today we seem much more focused on the latter. Worse over, we all too often seem to reject the three truths which constitute our common identity. We demand our rights, while avoiding related responsibilities. We allow the shortcomings and hypocrisy of religious individuals and institutions to justify rejecting God altogether. We deny our free will, blame others, and allow apathy to replace hopefulness.
Strangely, it may be through our uniqueness that we rediscover our common thread. Sadly, a person today who professes these three essential truths of our common identity would likely face severe criticism. He or she would have to be courageous and prepared to withstand vicious personal attacks, as politeness and grace are no longer commonplace in our country.
But should this unique individual stand tall, even alone, others will be inspired. One small sacrifice, one act of unconditional love, or one wise, selfless decision could turn the tide and inspire the rest of us. Oh, to see that day. And hopefully soon.
I’ll give the last word for this blog to Thomas Merton –
Thomas Merton – “No Man is an Island”
“This truth never becomes clear as long as we assume that each one of us, individually, is the center of the universe. We do not exist for ourselves alone, and it is only when we are fully convinced of this fact that we begin to love ourselves properly and thus also love others. What do I mean by loving ourselves properly? I mean, first of all, desiring to live, accepting life as a very great gift and a great good, not because of what it gives us, but because of what it enables us to give to others.
It is therefore of supreme importance that we consent to live not for ourselves but for others. When we do this we will be able first of all to face and accept our own limitations. As long as we secretly adore ourselves, our own deficiencies will remain to torture us with an apparent defilement. But if we live for others, we will gradually discover that no one expects us to be “as gods.” We will see that we are human, like everyone else, that we all have weaknesses and deficiencies, and that these limitations of ours play an important part in all our lives. It is because of them that we need others and others need us. We are not all weak in the same spots, and so we supplement and complete one another, each one making up in himself for the lack in another.”
Please help me grow my readership by forwarding this to a friend(s). In the meantime, say tuned for my next newsletter. Thanks
Michael Kayes
*These views are my personal opinions and are not the viewpoints of any company or organization.