33rd Edition
November 21, 2023
Seek first to understand
In this edition I’d like to share a recent, very disturbing, personal experience. As some of my readers know, I coach high school basketball. We had an away game a few days ago. We were invited to play a much bigger school on their homecoming night, as they celebrated the accomplishments of their students, and in essence what they were taught at the school. This recognition ceremony occurred just before our game started and was well done in all respects.
Then the national anthem started. The players, coaches, and spectators all rose to face the flag. All except two men, dressed in bright red warm-up suits, who slouched in their chairs along the wall near the end of the home bench. They never rose from their seat. I found their behavior appalling and it angered me to no end. I never got the chance to speak to them as they left before the end of the game, but these are some of the many questions I wanted to ask.
First, were you unable to stand? It didn’t appear so, but perhaps they were unable. The lesson here is not to judge others too quickly. There is too much of that in our society, and I am as guilty as anyone.
Two, if you were able why didn’t you? This brings to mind all kinds of thoughts, doesn’t it? Perhaps they were trying to make a statement, or simply exercising their constitutional right to free speech? For many people that is the heart of the issue. While acknowledging the importance of the First Amendment, I am wondering if there is more to it. Perhaps something deeper that needs to be discussed?
Is there something wrong with a culture where the right to free speech is expressed in this fashion? Was there any thought in these two men’s minds of the sacrifice so many have made in defense of freedom, or the men and women today, who willingly put themselves in harm’s way to defend our country and the freedom we all enjoy. How many first responders or members of the military would be offended by people sitting during the national anthem? Does that even matter?
Perhaps these two men despise our country. Perhaps they aren’t citizens or lack knowledge about the history of our nation. Maybe they don’t realize that freedom isn’t free, and that rights also come with responsibilities.
At the same time, those offended by their actions might benefit from walking a mile in their moccasins. Maybe life has been unfair to them relative to journeys others have experienced. There is a role for grace in every situation, isn’t there?
Third, why didn’t a teacher or administrator, or official walk down and ask the two men to stand? This could have been done politely and respectfully. I can’t believe no one else noticed.
This brings to mind all kinds of thoughts, too. To begin with, while it is legal to sit, or take a knee, during the national anthem, as we all know, is it the right thing to do? Are there more appropriate ways to make a statement if that is the intent? Who decides what is appropriate and what isn’t? Like virtually all controversial issues it gets complicated very quickly. On that note, here is an idea. Why not let the families of those who, as Lincoln stated, gave their last full measure of devotion, decide what kind of behavior during the national anthem is appropriate and what is disrespectful? That seems reasonable to me.
To be clear, all I am proposing is that people stand during the national anthem out of respect to those who died for our country and who today, are willing to do the same. Is that really a major risk to the First Amendment, or simply an honorable and decent way to exist as a community or nation?
Fourth, if we allow such behavior, what are we teaching the students in attendance? In this regard the intent matters. If the purpose of sitting during the national anthem is to enact social change, perhaps some good can come from it despite how offensive it may be to others. If the intent was something less noble, I don’t see the benefit to students or to the greater community. One can only wonder if their purpose was not to make a positive difference but was just an expression of anger or even worse, apathy. As a community we have to address it, we can’t ignore it and hope it goes away. If we seek first to understand, before we are understood, perhaps we can have a civil conversation and even reach common ground. An unrealistic expectation? Maybe, but attempting to achieve the extraordinary is how character is forged and virtue is attained. There is a higher calling in doing the honorable thing even when the law allows much less. We shouldn’t settle.
Please help me grow my readership by forwarding this to a friend(s). In the meantime, say tuned for my next newsletter. Thanks
Michael Kayes
*These views are my personal opinions and are not the viewpoints of any company or organization.