I grew up in a small town in upstate New York. Raised, literally, by a community of parents, neighbors, coaches, teachers, and the occasional police officer. The foundational values I learned shaped how I think about our society and country today.
First and foremost, integrity matters above all else. A man (or woman) can be no more than his word, his pledge to live up to his promises, to honor his commitments, to be reliable and dependable, especially when it is inconvenient, and honorable even when it requires great sacrifice.
I learned profound respect for such honorable people, and my mom was at the top of this list. Everyone knew what she stood for, what she believed in, what she frowned upon. She was a natural leader, uncompromising in her principles, willing to sacrifice popularity to uphold the truth or to do what was right.
I learned to fight for the underdog, especially those that were unable to fight for themselves. Here again, my mom led the charge. She routinely stood up to the establishment with passion and intelligence and a power of persuasion that was rarely matched by any adversary. She never ran for public office, in the 60’s and 70’s very few women did, but she was active behind the scenes, and respected across the state by political leaders.
I learned that how you help people matters a lot, and that dignity and self-reliance are part of this process. I learned that a hand up is better than a handout.
I learned that effort and attitude were two important character traits that were controllable. No one, of my generation, in my small town, ever wanted to be seen as a slacker, one who dogged it, or one who refused to carry one’s own weight. Sports were the natural outlet and test to determine one’s character. And, yet again, mom’s athletic prowess shone through. It was one of the proudest moments of my life to witness her induction into her High School Sport’s Hall of Fame. Lettering in five sports in high school, in an era before title IX, was and is, a remarkable achievement.
The rest of her life she has fought for equal rights for women. And it taught me that every era will have causes worth fighting for. Every era will have underdogs who need a leader to champion their cause. At the same time, she taught me to take responsibility for my future, to not let anyone keep me from pursuing my goals, to not make excuses and never blame others for my mistakes.
I learned that life isn’t fair, that some people are smarter, taller, faster, or more privileged, but none of that really mattered and was never to be used as an excuse for not trying hard or for unsportsmanlike behavior. How you played the game was much more important than the final score.
My cause has largely been working with youth, teaching life lessons through sports. In this life-long pursuit, I’ve battled against dependency, entitlement, bureaucracy, and a complete misunderstanding of the role sports can play in forging positive values in young people. In all seriousness, I firmly believe that no child, if reached early enough, is uncoachable, and that virtually every behavioral challenge can be addressed through a properly run youth sports experience. Hand me a ball and I can communicate and mentor any child, through the power of the Holy Spirit.
Leadership was a vital characteristic of my small town. We were taught that great leaders know that there are times for them to lead and times for them to follow others. Lincoln was such a leader who often deferred to others. General Omar Bradley, Admiral Chester Nimitz, and many others of their generation embodied this as well.
Who today shows a willingness to lead at the appropriate time, while following others when it is called for instead? I struggle to come up with any names. Today, in our reality-TV-obsessed culture everyone demands the limelight. In other words, where are the servant leaders today? Servant leaders lead by taking care of others before themselves. Does that even exist today? Can anyone name a single politician who can accurately be described as a servant leader? Shouldn’t that be THE most important test to determine our vote? Wouldn’t Jesus guide us by saying, “just vote for the person who is the most effective servant leader?”
I am at a loss to figure out a way to end the political polarization that torments our country. I fear it will worsen over time, leading to continued economic under performance and growing social unrest. What kind of world are we going to leave our grandkids from a moral, economic, and spiritual perspective?
We all face these questions, difficult though they may be to answer… Do we care enough? Can we be respectful even when we disagree? Can we be thorough enough in our search for the truth? Can we work together to find common ground, to heal, to compromise, and most of all to serve each other before ourselves?